BUILDING BONES

i am building bones
before i go
that someone may then
cast them
let them grow
see in them a future
let them show
the world a better vision
builders hold
a man the way to build
a better soul

CUP

when i met you
i held your face
so small that
my hands looked big
and it made me realize
that what i held
was a tiny
fragile
cup
and i had to be careful
because
although you were empty
you were not new
and if i did fill you
i'd probably spill you

PURPLE SAND

crushed hope
is a tough pill to swallow
i need to run as far
as my legs will take me
I am so green
so lost in this world
this is not where I'm meant to be
maybe there's a place
where the light bends at the horizon
and the earth bows
with heavenly grace
where bare feet walk slowly
through purple sand
and the grains slip silent
off the edge of the glass
a promise and a secret
all at once
and hearts are in eyes
and eyes in hearts
maybe I will find that place
or maybe
or maybe I will fall beneath the cracks
beneath the floor
beneath myself
and let this driftwood body
choose its own path
a path I do not know
or care to know at all
just that I meant something good
to someone once
that they thought
I was worth my breath
my imprint
nothing more
just a brief lapse in judgement

LITTLE WORLD

I need a crawlspace
to bend myself into
leave my bones
if I could
and dissappear
into a little world
with no people and no cars
just my thoughts
and some flowers in a jar
a little table with a tablecloth
and tea for one
I'd fold my limbs up
and tuck my head down
think only in whisper
speak only in sound
if I found
a little world

IF I PROMISED

would you believe me
if i told you
that you're so important
to me
that nothing i can do
nothing i can say
nothing i can think
can change the person
you are
or change how much
you mean to me
yet
i will always try
again and again
until i have nothing left
just my notebook
and my cello
and my overturned canoe
would you believe me
if i promised
i hope so
because i'm still here
i did not drown

NOT YET

today smelled like the past
and the future
all at once
the passing of time
I have hope for you
for me
I have hope for this world
it's almost time to start
just not yet
not yet
not yet

TREADMILLS

determination
is it's own salvation
when you're tapped
into the quick
and the blood runs freely
from your fingers
your mind stops
your heart stops -
I can't shake
this sense of frustration
that I've been dragging around
behind me
for so long
dissappointment really
it's a bunch of cinder blocks
all chained and bolted together
and they drag me down
but I grit my teeth
til they chip
and I stare
at that triangle in the fabric
and I focus
like ten thousand samurai
and I cut throught it all
with the sharpest resolve
and for that moment
maybe three seconds
I am indomitable
I am impossibly sure
I am completely unwilling
and entirely willing
and marble and liquid
and fluid and steadfast
I am the steel and the fire
i am the machine, it seems
my arms move in time
my body has no weight
and for a moment
I am a child
no back pain
or heavy heart
no fear
or shackles
or goals
no bills
no banks
no understanding of calories
for that moment
I am completely and utterly
free
and it is not a perfect body
or the opinions of others
that drives me
that moves my feet
those first few steps -
it is the rememberance
of that moment of freedom
and so I am determined
and thus
i am saved